Miserable, What should I do?

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Miserable, What should I do?

My fiance of three years is in a lot of debt over some stuff he had to have a lot of money up front for all at once. So, he decided that he was going to go and take the ASFAB test to join the army.

He called me while I was at work and told me that he was interested in the army reserved and that he was going to go take the test so he could try to get extra money to pay off everything, get some college education and army training. I was pretty mad and upset about it because I don't fully trust what the recruiters say to get someone to join the army. Once someone joins, they can do whatever they want. Plus I was upset because I knew my fiance could always borrow money and go to college anywhere besides the army. Anyway my fiance took the test and got a really high score on it and they told him he could join whatever he wanted but they are not doing the army reserve anymore so he would have to be stationed somewhere else. This would be another town away from where I live and Oklahoma or Texas are the closest places around. I was very upset and it was like he had already made up his mind to go without consulting me. I got mad and ran outside and it was very dark and I couldn't really see anything and I ran into the trash can and smashed my toe against the metal part of the wheel and I happened to be wearing flip flops so it bent my toenail back and cut the top part of my toe. That's how upset I got and I ended up getting hurt over it. He's still planning on joining and it's like no matter what I say, his mind is made. I even told him that I wasn't sure if I would stay with him if he left for that long because I wouldn't be able to hardly see him and I wouldn't want us to be tied down, always worried about what each other is really doing.

Well he didn't like that idea and he says he doesn't ever want to lose me and part of the reason why he wants to join the army so bad is so he could make good money and have a better future for us but I don,t think I feel like its his decision. Nothing I say matters and I'm just supposed to go along with it. He knew I was totally against him going to the army but he decided to go anyway. Now he keeps bugging and bugging me just to get married to him and go with him wherever he gets stationed. The problem is my parents are totally against that idea and my mom thinks it would be the biggest mistake of my life to go with him wherever they decide to station him. It's driving me crazy. I have to hear and think about it all the time from either my fiance or my mom. It's making me miserable. I feel bad all the time and nervous about what I should do. He can't go right now but when he get's some of his stuff straightened out he's planning on going and he has already filled some of the paper work out.

I know I'm definitely not ready to get married but I do love him and I'm in my comfort zone with him. I wouldn't want to just sit around worrying about him wondering what he was doing. Since he's going to be gone for a few year's I feel like it's a no win situation. I don't know what I truly want to do and either way someone is always going to get hurt. Some people would probably say I'm being selfish for trying to hold him back from doing something he wants and will probably leave him for his desicion but then on the other hand some people think he's the one being selfish choosing the army and trying to make me go with him when he know's I'm totally against it. So my options are let him join, marry him and then go with him wherever they make him go, watch him leave and either stay with him and wait it out or dump him and try to move on. It's a very tough horrible decision for me and it's putting a ton of stress on me either way. I tell him if he really loved me as much as he says he wouldn't go or wouldn't put me through all this stress. He made this decision and thinks I should stick by his side. We also have a 19 month old baby together so I also have to consider what's best for my son. I wouldn't want to have to live an army life with my son at a place Im not familar with and with none of my friends or family around.

So If anyone could please give me some good advice or maybe someone who has been in a similar situation could tell me about it. Any advice is appreciated.

Average Grade: B+

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	kared		29-Jun-09

I think that he is trying to do what is best for his and your family.You should try to make the best decision because it will affect your son and you. I have decided also that Im going to join the army but I am still young so I dont know if I will change my mind.

	Julie		21-Jun-09

I think this guy has good intentions. He wants to provide a future for his son and fiancee, get a job and get out of debt ,and serve his country. Millions of people are unemployed in this country and he is doing his best in his familys interest. If he is drafted could you go back to your home town and stay with family?