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Life Now.
Although alot of people may say they have been through alot their entire life, I really do feel like I have been through alot and I'm only 22. I gotta say I'm a little worried about how much I have left to go through :S.
Everything started when I was 4 years old. I remember running for the phone and then asking for my mom, when my mom answered she broke down in tears and said "okay, I'll be right there." The next day I would find out that my sister and my two cousins were in a car accident and one of my cousins died while saving my sister and the other cousin. It was the hardest time of my sister's life, and I only being four years old had no idea what was going on.
Soon after that we were returning home to visit with family. My dad left ahead of us and said he'd meet us there and to have a good trip. The night we got there we were unable to find him, so we went to my grandpa's house and unloaded the car. My mom decided to leave and go visit a friend up the hill so she left my lil brother and I with our older sister. At about midnight my dad finally showed up intoxicated. He went to the basement to retrieve a rifle and shells and at the door looked at my sister and I and said "Everything will be alright, I'll take care of her now, All our problems will be gone!" Five minutes later the three of us left the house to go down the street to my uncle's house. Running through the gravel in our barefeet, hearing gun shot after gun shot, even as a five year old, I knew it was my dad. He had gone to my mom's friends house and began shooting trying to kill my mom. In the incident my mom was fine but her friend was shot in the leg.
My Dad received jail time and I didnt see him for a couple years.
Sometime after that, when I was 15, I met a guy. Dan seemed to be everything that I wanted. He seemed like a nice guy, a guy to depend on, a guy to trust, a guy to love. I was with him for a year. He was my first everything, I loved him more then I think I could love anybody. After about 6 months he would start trying to push me away. He began beating me and emotionally abusing me, and yet I still loved him. Finally, when he left me with scars and a couple broken bones from dragging me through broken glass and throwing me down the stairs, I got up and left. He continued to taunt me and threaten me. He finally met somebody and moved out of town. A couple months later I would get a call saying he still loved me and that was all he needed to hear me say that I still loved him. That night I got a call saying he jumped off a bridge. I got a letter from him a week after he jumped off the bridge, saying it was my fault that he did it because I hadn't stayed with him or taken him back.
It was the hardest point of my life. I went through a deep depression for a couple years and blamed myself for his death. It had gotten so bad that I had attempted suicide a couple of times until I realized, none of it was my fault. He had problems from previous relationships and he really did just have psychological problems that went too far.
During this time, I began exploring several drugs and consuming large amounts of alcohol. I had gone so far that I ended up in the hospital a couple of times from alcohol poisoning and overdose. I haven't done drugs since I was 16. I have to admit that I do get depressed still and do turn to alcohol but I haven't touched alcohol for about 5 months now! Although I do plan on succeeding at many other things I have to say quitting drugs and having control over alcohol is what I am most proud of!
When I was 18 I finally came out of it and went back to school... and completed my adult diploma in 3 months. I continued on to complete my 2 years associates degree. After my 2 year program I was told that I had maxed out my 6 years of funding, which I don't understand HOW?!??! So at the moment I am appealing my funding and I plan to continue on to law school.
When life gets to be too much I tend to write. I figured maybe on here somebody might find my story inspiring or motivational. I have been through alot and I just keep telling myself... "What doesnt Kill ya, Only makes ya stronger!" Life does suck alot of the time but still some days are the best! Just keep looking forward to the better days! One good day is better then nothing! and its worth the hard work to reach them!
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